Hil Karen: Philippines /Trusting in Jesus

I am 24 yrs old with so many dreams, but when I have pursued my goals, I have always failed. When I graduated from college, I didn’t go for what I wanted because we didn’t have enough money to support that dream, so I needed to work to save money. 

My father died when I was in my 1st year High School, he was our breadwinner, so it became hard for us financially. After 3 years, when I decided to pursue my dreams, I failed the exam 2 times for my entry; the one I always dream of. 

The first time I failed it was just okay for me because I hadn’t review it that well, but the second time I took the exam, I prepared myself by studying after work and reading when It was my break at my work, but again, God didn’t allow me to pass on the 2nd time. 

I cried to God that time, I said to Him, I prayed for this, but why? And one time I read the book “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren, this book is given to me by my Pastor. That book talks to my heart, I just realized that God has his own plan, God always has his right time, God is still there sometimes He is just quiet.

And I was moved by the quotation in the book, “When you feel abandoned by God yet continue to trust Him, you deeply worship Him.” In this book, God makes an example of Jobs life, which is when Job’s life fell apart. And when He was silent, Job still found things he could praise God for. Just trust God to keep his promises. 

I feel embarrassed to God, because my experience is only small compared to Jobs, and yet I get a little bit discouraged. But this time, God is so great and wonderful that He used these things to talk to me. 

I Now realize the purpose for all these failures, and that God didn’t allow me to pass this year because I am not yet ready physically and mentally for what I am pursuing. Now, with the grace of God, I am starting to prepare myself for next year’s battle, if it’s His will.