{"id":31745,"date":"2024-07-01T22:00:37","date_gmt":"2024-07-02T05:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/song_of_songs-4_1-16-copy\/"},"modified":"2024-06-25T21:31:27","modified_gmt":"2024-06-26T04:31:27","slug":"song_of_songs-5_1-16","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/song_of_songs-5_1-16\/","title":{"rendered":"When You\u2019re Out of Sync with Your Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"

Song of Songs 5:1-16 \u00a0 (CLICK HERE FOR\u00a0BIBLE VERSES)<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Hi GAMErs,<\/p>\n

A NOTE FOR PARENTS AND KIDS:\u00a0 Given the nature of today\u2019s topic, we would advise parents to review this GAME sharing first before your kids do and then decide whether your kids should see it.\u00a0 Kids, if you are reading this, please ask your parent or guardian to review this GAME sharing first before you read it and ask your parent or guardian if they think you should read it now or wait until you\u2019re older.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s passage is Song of Songs 5:1-16.\u00a0 I encourage you to read the passage yourself first and see what you can glean with the Holy Spirit\u2019s help, then read the GAME sharing below.\u00a0 Let’s go!<\/p>\n

Song<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0of<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0Songs<\/em><\/strong>\u00a05<\/em><\/strong>:1 (NIV)\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>
\n1\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.<\/em>
\nEat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.<\/em><\/p>\n

On verse 1:\u00a0 Here\u2019s what seems to be happening: the groom is confirming with great satisfaction that he and his bride have consummated their marriage in a most satisfying fashion (at least as far as the groom is concerned).\u00a0 But who is the one responding by saying, \u201cEat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers\u201d?\u00a0 Some translations attribute this to a chorus\u00a0of\u00a0the couple\u2019s friends.\u00a0 Though it sounds weird and awkward for their friends to be present when all\u00a0of\u00a0this is going on, apparently in a typical Jewish wedding, when the bride and groom entered the wedding chamber, the groom would choose one or two friends to stand outside and wait for the groom\u2019s confirmation that the marriage had been consummated.\u00a0 Upon receiving the groom\u2019s confirmation, those friends would then report this news to the wedding guests, who would then celebrate and continue with their festivities.\u00a0 Talk about an interesting wedding tradition!<\/p>\n

Another theory is that the person saying, \u201cEat, O friends, and drink\u201d is God Himself.\u00a0 If that is the case, then this verse shows us that God is happy and pleased when a man and a woman whom He has brought together in marriage enjoy one another sexually.\u00a0 God is in the inventor\u00a0of\u00a0sex and when it is enjoyed in the way He intended, it pleases Him.<\/p>\n

Song of Songs 5:2-8 (NIV)<\/strong>
\n2\u00a0<\/sup>I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.”
\n3\u00a0<\/sup>\u00a0I have taken off my robe– must I put it on again? I have washed my feet– must I soil them again?
\n4\u00a0<\/sup>\u00a0My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.
\n5\u00a0<\/sup>\u00a0I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock.
\n6\u00a0<\/sup>\u00a0I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer.
\n7\u00a0<\/sup>\u00a0The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls!
\n8\u00a0<\/sup>\u00a0O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you– if you find my lover, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love.<\/em><\/p>\n

On verses 2-8:\u00a0 Many different interpretations have been suggested for verses 2-8.<\/p>\n

For example, one interpretation is that verses 2-8 describe how the girl is wrestling with complicated feelings after having just lost her virginity to her husband.\u00a0 The \u201cwatchmen\u201d in verse 7 symbolize those complicated feelings.\u00a0 As she wrestles with these complicated emotions, she is now needing the support\u00a0of\u00a0her husband, who is not there the way she wants him to be.<\/p>\n

Another interpretation is that verses 2-8 are describing how the guy and the girl have experienced a rift in their relationship.\u00a0 Each is trying to reach out to the other, but their timing is not in sync and as a result they end up missing each other.<\/p>\n

Another interpretation is that the husband is making a sexual advance on the wife, and the wife at first is unwilling.\u00a0 Later when she feels ready, the husband is nowhere to be found, and the wife is beaten up by feelings\u00a0of\u00a0regret, represented by the \u201cwatchmen\u201d.<\/p>\n

Some consider verses 2-8 to be a dream; others don\u2019t.\u00a0 Some consider verses 2-8 as describing what is happening on the wedding night, whereas others think some time has past since the wedding night.<\/p>\n

So many different interpretations.\u00a0 Now which interpretation is best?\u00a0 I believe these verses are describing how after the initial wedding night encounter, the husband and the wife, probably in the area\u00a0of\u00a0sex but maybe in other areas too, are experiencing times when they feel out\u00a0of\u00a0sync with one another.\u00a0 One reaches out and the other is not there.\u00a0 First the husband reaches out and the wife is slow to respond (v2-3).\u00a0 Then the wife reaches out and the husband has withdrawn (v4-6).\u00a0 The watchmen beating the girl up (v7) represent the frustrations that come with not being in sync with her husband.\u00a0 Thankfully, the girl refuses to give up on her marriage (v8).<\/p>\n

What can we learn from this?\u00a0\u00a0In every marriage, there is bound to be conflict and the feeling\u00a0<\/strong>of<\/strong>\u00a0being out\u00a0<\/strong>of<\/strong>\u00a0sync with one another, whether it\u2019s in the area\u00a0<\/strong>of<\/strong>\u00a0sex or otherwise.\u00a0 In those times, we need to work at becoming more in tune with each other\u2019s needs and desires.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0A happy marriage, including good sexual intimacy for the long term, takes more than just desire and natural chemistry.\u00a0 It takes mature character, good communication, learning and respecting the other\u2019s feelings and desires, extending grace to one another, focusing on the good, and being willing to work things out.<\/p>\n

Song<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0of<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0Songs<\/em><\/strong>\u00a05<\/em><\/strong>:9-16 (NIV)\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>
\n9\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful\u00a0<\/em>of\u00a0women? How is your beloved better than others, that you charge us so?\u00a0<\/em>
\n10\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.\u00a0<\/em>
\n11\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven.\u00a0<\/em>
\n12\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels.\u00a0<\/em>
\n13\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0His cheeks are like beds\u00a0<\/em>of\u00a0spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh.\u00a0<\/em>
\n14\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0His arms are rods\u00a0<\/em>of\u00a0gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires.\u00a0<\/em>
\n15\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0His legs are pillars\u00a0<\/em>of\u00a0marble set on bases\u00a0<\/em>of\u00a0pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars.\u00a0<\/em>
\n16\u00a0<\/sup><\/em>\u00a0His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters\u00a0<\/em>of\u00a0Jerusalem.<\/em><\/p>\n

On verses 9-16: \u00a0The girl, committed to working things out with her husband, asks her friends to help her find her husband (v8).\u00a0 When asked by her friends \u201cWhy do you still want to be with him?\u201d (v9), she responds by saying only good things about him, praising his attractive attributes (v10-16).\u00a0 To help her not give up during a difficult time in her marriage, the girl focuses on the qualities that she admires in him and finds attractive (v9-16).<\/p>\n

What can we learn form this?\u00a0\u00a0When a relationship with someone you love becomes strained, to help you fight for the relationship, focus on the qualities and traits that you appreciate in the other person.\u00a0 Remember what attracted you to that person in the first place.\u00a0 Believe the best in one another.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Father, thank You for showing us that conflict and disconnectedness are bound to happen from time to time in a marriage, but there are things we can do to get over that conflict and disconnectedness.\u00a0 Thank You that when there was conflict and disconnectedness between You and me, You didn\u2019t give up on me.\u00a0 Instead You reached out and You sacrificed Yourself for the sake\u00a0<\/em>of<\/em>\u00a0our relationship.\u00a0 Thank You for being the greatest example\u00a0<\/em>of<\/em>\u00a0how to work things out in a strained relationship.\u00a0 I pray we would all do more as You do.\u00a0 In Jesus\u2019 name, AMEN!<\/em><\/p>\n

Copyright \u00a9 2022 Justin Lim. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi GAMErs,<\/p>\n

A NOTE FOR PARENTS AND KIDS:\u00a0 Given the nature of today\u2019s topic, we would advise parents to review this GAME sharing first before your kids do and then decide whether your kids should see it.\u00a0 Kids, if you are reading this, please ask your parent or guardian to review this GAME sharing first before you read it and ask your parent or guardian if they think you should read it now or wait until you\u2019re older.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s passage is Song of Songs 5:1-16.\u00a0 I encourage you to read the passage yourself first and see what you can glean with the Holy Spirit\u2019s help, then read the GAME sharing below.\u00a0 Let’s go!<\/p>\n

Song\u00a0of\u00a0Songs\u00a05:1 (NIV)\u00a0
\n1\u00a0\u00a0I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.
\nEat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.<\/p>\n

On verse 1:\u00a0 Here\u2019s what seems to be happening: the groom is confirming with great satisfaction that he and his bride have consummated their marriage in a most satisfying fashion (at least as far as the groom is concerned).\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31747,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31745","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gametime-sharing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31745","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31745"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31745\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31748,"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31745\/revisions\/31748"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31747"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31745"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31745"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocbf.ca\/2019\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31745"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}