2 Samuel 3:17-39   (CLICK HERE FOR BIBLE VERSES)

Hi GAMErs,

Today’s passage is 2 Samuel 3:17-39.  As usual, I encourage you to open your Bible and read the passage yourself first.  See what you can glean with the Holy Spirit’s help. Then read the GAME sharing below.  Let’s go!

2 Samuel 3:17-39 (NIV)
17  Abner conferred with the elders of Israel and said, “For some time you have wanted to make David your king.
18  Now do it! For the LORD promised David, ‘By my servant David I will rescue my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and from the hand of all their enemies.'”
19  Abner also spoke to the Benjamites in person. Then he went to Hebron to tell David everything that Israel and the whole house of Benjamin wanted to do.
20  When Abner, who had twenty men with him, came to David at Hebron, David prepared a feast for him and his men.
21  Then Abner said to David, “Let me go at once and assemble all Israel for my lord the king, so that they may make a compact with you, and that you may rule over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace.
22  Just then David’s men and Joab returned from a raid and brought with them a great deal of plunder. But Abner was no longer with David in Hebron, because David had sent him away, and he had gone in peace.
23  When Joab and all the soldiers with him arrived, he was told that Abner son of Ner had come to the king and that the king had sent him away and that he had gone in peace.
24  So Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Look, Abner came to you. Why did you let him go? Now he is gone!
25  You know Abner son of Ner; he came to deceive you and observe your movements and find out everything you are doing.”
26  Joab then left David and sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the well of Sirah. But David did not know it.
27  Now when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the gateway, as though to speak with him privately. And there, to avenge the blood of his brother Asahel, Joab stabbed him in the stomach, and he died.
28  Later, when David heard about this, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever innocent before the LORD concerning the blood of Abner son of Ner.
29  May his blood fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house! May Joab’s house never be without someone who has a running sore or leprosy or who leans on a crutch or who falls by the sword or who lacks food.”
30  (Joab and his brother Abishai murdered Abner because he had killed their brother Asahel in the battle at Gibeon.)
31  Then David said to Joab and all the people with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and walk in mourning in front of Abner.” King David himself walked behind the bier.
32  They buried Abner in Hebron, and the king wept aloud at Abner’s tomb. All the people wept also.
33  The king sang this lament for Abner: “Should Abner have died as the lawless die?
34  Your hands were not bound, your feet were not fettered. You fell as one falls before wicked men.” And all the people wept over him again.
35  Then they all came and urged David to eat something while it was still day; but David took an oath, saying, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I taste bread or anything else before the sun sets!”
36  All the people took note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them.
37  So on that day all the people and all Israel knew that the king had no part in the murder of Abner son of Ner.
38  Then the king said to his men, “Do you not realize that a prince and a great man has fallen in Israel this day?
39  And today, though I am the anointed king, I am weak, and these sons of Zeruiah are too strong for me. May the LORD repay the evildoer according to his evil deeds!”

On verses 17-39:  Here Abner uses his substantial political connections to campaign for David to become king over all of Israel.  Abner speaks with key influencers in the country like the elders of Israel (v17-18) and the Benjamites (Saul and Ish-Bosheth’s own tribe) (v19), all in an effort to rally support for David.  David thanks Abner with a feast (v20).  Abner responds by saying that next he will assemble all of Israel before David and have them publicly declare David as their king (v21).  But before Abner can carry out this plan, Joab, the commander of David’s army, is suspicious of Abner’s motives.  Joab suspects that Abner wants to deceive David and spy on him (v24).  Even more, Joab wants to avenge the death of his brother Asahel, whom Abner killed unintentionally (v27, 30).  So Joab finds Abner privately and murders him, stabbing him in the stomach (v27).

David leads the people in mourning for Abner (v31).  During the funeral procession, David personally walks behind Abner’s coffin (v31b).  He weeps at Abner’s tomb (v32) and sings a lament which he wrote in Abner’s honour (v33-34).  He fasts in memory of Abner (v35) and tells his men that Abner was a prince and a great man (v38).  Having had nothing to do with Abner’s death, David curses Joab for his murderous actions (v29, 39).

What can we learn from this?  Here we see some of the damaging effects bitterness has on our lives.

3 reasons why staying bitter is short-sighted:

1. Bitterness blinds us.  Just as Joab could not see anything good in Abner, when you are bitter at someone, you can’t see anything good in that person.  You become suspicious of everything they do.

Bitterness also blinds you so that you can’t see right from wrong.  Joab thought he was justified in murdering Abner because he was blinded by bitterness.  Similarly, bitterness can cause us to do evil that we would not otherwise do.   Like Joab who repaid Abner’s accidental killing of Asahel by intentionally murdering Abner, when you hang onto bitterness, you can end up doing something much worse than what was done to you.

2. Bitterness destroys us.  Like a cancer that eats away at our lives, bitterness can destroy us from the inside out.  We might think we are hurting the person who hurt us by staying bitter.  But the person who really gets hurt is us and those closest to us.  As evidenced by how David cursed not just Joab but his entire family (v29), bitterness always comes at the cost of our relationships and our reputation.  Holding onto bitterness is like drinking poison and hopelessly believing that the person you’re bitter at will die.  As Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

3. Bitterness is a sin against God.  When we choose to stay bitter, we are choosing to take for granted God’s goodness and forgiveness in our lives.  By staying bitter, we separate ourselves from the life and peace God wants to give us.

It’s no wonder the Bible tells us to “get rid of all bitterness” (Ephesians 4:31).

Instead of hanging onto bitterness, we must forgive those who hurt us.  Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that you trust that person again or that you forget what happened.  Rather, to forgive means that you let go of your right to get even and you fully surrender to God the anger you feel because of that hurt.  Praise God that you will never have to forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you.  Whereas bitterness destroys us, forgiveness sets us free.

Lord Jesus, I don’t want to be blinded and destroyed by bitterness.  Today I come into your presence and seek Your help.  Help me to forgive those who hurt me.  Set me free from bitterness.  In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN!

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