Song of Songs 5:1-16 (CLICK HERE FOR BIBLE VERSES)
Hi GAMErs,
A NOTE FOR PARENTS AND KIDS: Given the nature of today’s topic, we would advise parents to review this GAME sharing first before your kids do and then decide whether your kids should see it. Kids, if you are reading this, please ask your parent or guardian to review this GAME sharing first before you read it and ask your parent or guardian if they think you should read it now or wait until you’re older.
Today’s passage is Song of Songs 5:1-16. I encourage you to read the passage yourself first and see what you can glean with the Holy Spirit’s help, then read the GAME sharing below. Let’s go!
Song of Songs 5:1 (NIV)
1 I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.
Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.
On verse 1: Here’s what seems to be happening: the groom is confirming with great satisfaction that he and his bride have consummated their marriage in a most satisfying fashion (at least as far as the groom is concerned). But who is the one responding by saying, “Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers”? Some translations attribute this to a chorus of the couple’s friends. Though it sounds weird and awkward for their friends to be present when all of this is going on, apparently in a typical Jewish wedding, when the bride and groom entered the wedding chamber, the groom would choose one or two friends to stand outside and wait for the groom’s confirmation that the marriage had been consummated. Upon receiving the groom’s confirmation, those friends would then report this news to the wedding guests, who would then celebrate and continue with their festivities. Talk about an interesting wedding tradition!
Another theory is that the person saying, “Eat, O friends, and drink” is God Himself. If that is the case, then this verse shows us that God is happy and pleased when a man and a woman whom He has brought together in marriage enjoy one another sexually. God is in the inventor of sex and when it is enjoyed in the way He intended, it pleases Him.
Song of Songs 5:2-8 (NIV)
2 I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.”
3 I have taken off my robe– must I put it on again? I have washed my feet– must I soil them again?
4 My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.
5 I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock.
6 I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer.
7 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls!
8 O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you– if you find my lover, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love.
On verses 2-8: Many different interpretations have been suggested for verses 2-8.
For example, one interpretation is that verses 2-8 describe how the girl is wrestling with complicated feelings after having just lost her virginity to her husband. The “watchmen” in verse 7 symbolize those complicated feelings. As she wrestles with these complicated emotions, she is now needing the support of her husband, who is not there the way she wants him to be.
Another interpretation is that verses 2-8 are describing how the guy and the girl have experienced a rift in their relationship. Each is trying to reach out to the other, but their timing is not in sync and as a result they end up missing each other.
Another interpretation is that the husband is making a sexual advance on the wife, and the wife at first is unwilling. Later when she feels ready, the husband is nowhere to be found, and the wife is beaten up by feelings of regret, represented by the “watchmen”.
Some consider verses 2-8 to be a dream; others don’t. Some consider verses 2-8 as describing what is happening on the wedding night, whereas others think some time has past since the wedding night.
So many different interpretations. Now which interpretation is best? I believe these verses are describing how after the initial wedding night encounter, the husband and the wife, probably in the area of sex but maybe in other areas too, are experiencing times when they feel out of sync with one another. One reaches out and the other is not there. First the husband reaches out and the wife is slow to respond (v2-3). Then the wife reaches out and the husband has withdrawn (v4-6). The watchmen beating the girl up (v7) represent the frustrations that come with not being in sync with her husband. Thankfully, the girl refuses to give up on her marriage (v8).
What can we learn from this? In every marriage, there is bound to be conflict and the feeling of being out of sync with one another, whether it’s in the area of sex or otherwise. In those times, we need to work at becoming more in tune with each other’s needs and desires. A happy marriage, including good sexual intimacy for the long term, takes more than just desire and natural chemistry. It takes mature character, good communication, learning and respecting the other’s feelings and desires, extending grace to one another, focusing on the good, and being willing to work things out.
Song of Songs 5:9-16 (NIV)
9 How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women? How is your beloved better than others, that you charge us so?
10 My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.
11 His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven.
12 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels.
13 His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh.
14 His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires.
15 His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars.
16 His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
On verses 9-16: The girl, committed to working things out with her husband, asks her friends to help her find her husband (v8). When asked by her friends “Why do you still want to be with him?” (v9), she responds by saying only good things about him, praising his attractive attributes (v10-16). To help her not give up during a difficult time in her marriage, the girl focuses on the qualities that she admires in him and finds attractive (v9-16).
What can we learn form this? When a relationship with someone you love becomes strained, to help you fight for the relationship, focus on the qualities and traits that you appreciate in the other person. Remember what attracted you to that person in the first place. Believe the best in one another.
Father, thank You for showing us that conflict and disconnectedness are bound to happen from time to time in a marriage, but there are things we can do to get over that conflict and disconnectedness. Thank You that when there was conflict and disconnectedness between You and me, You didn’t give up on me. Instead You reached out and You sacrificed Yourself for the sake of our relationship. Thank You for being the greatest example of how to work things out in a strained relationship. I pray we would all do more as You do. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!
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